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jane[y]

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new journal. [Monday
November 5th, 2007]
 [info]janeymcgee
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myspace [Friday
October 26th, 2007]
-a place for hipsters to feel like they've got more self control than everyone else.

haiguyz i got eightyachedee.
get phonetical witchyer bad selves.

ps i am going to get a new lj soon
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break it off clean! [Tuesday
October 23rd, 2007]
my email to eric following our back & forth argument about whether or not he's verbally abusive:

i think our chances for friendship are nil; you are too conflict seeking & without enough self-awareness to qualify you as an adult, or even a mature 8th-grader. which is really sad, but it's your problem.

i like how forrest put it best:
It sounds more to me, that he overeacted to the situation, and that by no means should that have lead to him to fucking yell and scream about it. And that shit is abuse man, he's trying to put you down with words, and frankly he's just the same as guy who goes and punches his wives teeth out. and it's just fucked up man, fucked up.

so cool, i'm sure you're denying that til the end. If i were you, i'd do all your future girlfriend's a favor & give them my number so that they might just get a head's up before they do something reasonable like ask you to use protection.
peace.


Ladies, I have one simple request: Don't be submissive. Don't take any shit. Don't be sexist, either. To do otherwise is an insult to yourself & the women before you.
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vengaboys>shakespeare [Wednesday
October 17th, 2007]
boom boom boom boom
i want you in my room
let's spend the night together
from now until forever
boom boom boom boom 
i wanna go boom boom 
let's spend the night together
together in my room

and they say the 90's did nothing for the arts.
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for a moment [Monday
October 15th, 2007]

i forgot that i live in a fairy circle in someone's back yard, & that all this is a really lame dream i'm having.
or so i wish.

this weekend i return to the place where everything's right.  where every boy is a dresden doll & every girl a vaudeville princess.  i can't vouch for our sanity, but i can vouch for our complex completeness.

and yes, i want you to touch me the way you'd like to be touched.

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[Monday
October 8th, 2007]
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[Monday
October 8th, 2007]
relationships are retarded.
seriously, if i could do anything i would make it so my friends weren't beating themselves up over other people that weren't good enough for them right from the very start.
what the hell does "serious" even mean? it means booby trapping yourself, that's what.
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[Thursday
October 4th, 2007]
And you just don't get it
you keep it copacetic
And you learn to accept it
You know it's so pathetic
and you don't
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[Wednesday
October 3rd, 2007]

i like you enough to want to write to you everyday with my scary little drawings & jokes about hip hop music.
i like you enough to want to die because being called darling by you is pretty much the highpoint in my life right now.
i like you enough to not ever want to say love about you because codependence is bullshit.
i like you enough to want to take pictures of us in random acts of amanda & brian immitation.
i like you enough.

you & me remind me of the dresden dolls & that's why this is scary.

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[Monday
October 1st, 2007]

what is it with me && dating bipolar wackjobs?

i dumped eric saturday night. i was staying at my friend's house & he came over to chill with us.  he was trying to show off for his best friend so he says, "i wanna fuck tonight." i say, "kay, cool. you've got condoms?" we always use condoms. the past few times we haven't had sex he's always given the reason that he doesn't have any, so i'm super fucking surprised when he says, "no... let's just risk it! i'm not gonna get you pregnant!" WHAT A FUCKING MORON.  my jaw dropped. i honestly thought he was being facetious. then when i refused he called me all sorts of things, dyke, bitch, & cunt among them.
so i dumped him. i told him i'd already been in an abusive relationship & i don't need to get into another one. he literally said, "bitch! i've never laid a fucking hand on you!"  and he looked completely fucking confused when i mentioned the concept of emotional or verbal abuse. what a fucking dumbass.

brett (the girl who's house we were at) was totally wigging while all this was going on, "he gives off such a bad vibe. ew. i want him gone." and she got into her bathtub until brandon (brett's roomie, eric's best friend) convinced him to leave, as he was planning to stay the night, even though he was never invited to.  then yesterday he posted a bulletin calling me a mall punk, fake raver, astrid haven dyke. it was pretty fucking hillarious. this dude is 21, still lives with his parents, can't go out if his room's not clean, works at a grocery store, doesn't go to college, and when his girlfriend dumps him he still reacts by posting a myspace bulletin.

so my main emotional burden with this is nothing that actually happened between us, but rather just worry.... how do i turn off the big neon sign that hangs over my head that says, "bipolar mama's-boys, date me!!"

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lolz [Sunday
September 23rd, 2007]
tiffy: Fuck the Fanta girls; Janey's all like, "Drink Faygo, bitches," and they do. =o

straight up badass muthafucka 
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[Tuesday
September 18th, 2007]

Good education is so wasted sometimes.
It disgusts me.

I am only a victim of myself.
I create my own problems, and if I changed my ways I wouldn't be swimming upstream most of the time. But I think it's better that I am openly malcontented with society's idiocy than it would be if I simply went with the flow and fell in love with everything prime time television, top 40 radio, and Wal-Mart threw at me.

I'd rather be unhappy and true to myself than a zombie.
But maybe I'm just being delusional.

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hey guys [Monday
September 17th, 2007]



remember when i was pretty?

school killed it.

 

EDIT:
today was rather disappointing.
during one of my study halls i got to listen to ethan miller and kelsey weeden discuss what meaningful relationships are (LOLZ).
when i got home my grandmother had left, which she wasn't supposed to until tomorrow, but she was worried about her cat. still, i was disappointed. she's the first grownup to put any sort of positive spin on me graduating and moving out. as consolation she left me a bottle of Clinique Happy perfume with a really cute orange case that has a little orange-rhinestone keychain that says Happy.  Low and behold when I got it out of the box the keychain read appy, and there was no H to be found.
Whatever, I dont need a pretty keychain anyway.
Then my mom led me on like she was going to let me go to AWA with Satori this weekend. Got out a map and found the intersection on 85 we could meet up at!! Then, she proceeded to say, "your health is too bad for me to let you go party in Atl. for the weekend."  I know that inside she is so happy that I've been sick. It's the easiest excuse she's had to bar me from having a happy adventure in a long time. Before this she had to resort to the good old, "I don't trust other kids, even though I'm ignoring the fact that most of your friends are straight edge."

fuck that bitch.
as far as i'm concerned as soon as i leave for college i'm estranged.
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dude. an internet personality has changed my life. [Friday
September 14th, 2007]
 octopus!

there's this lady on myspace, and i know it sounds lame but she is truly amazing.
She's a fucking cupcake punk.
Yeah, i'm not kidding.

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i've learned that [Thursday
September 13th, 2007]
so many of you are careless with your own glass.


the boy least likely... "be gentle with me."
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DIE HIPSTER SCUM! [Thursday
September 6th, 2007]
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the internet and i [Wednesday
September 5th, 2007]
need to work on having a healthier relationship. like one that doesn't make me feel compelled to be on for hours every day, especially since my brain is yelling
you have homework and stuff to do that is more fun than this!!
 
but i don't know how to go about changing.
*le sigh*
i need to take a psych test tomorrow but i have no idea what psych tests are like so i am kind of nervous. starting the year with bad grades is shitty.
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i advise everyone [Tuesday
September 4th, 2007]

to get in touch with tegan and sara
and if you already are then good

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i just want to jump up on the table [Monday
September 3rd, 2007]
and scream.
you people! are you fucking stupid? this is the same as always, and your conversations are the same as always, and you haven't grown at all! do you like the view from the fishbowl?! do you really?! suffocation's convenient when you don't want to learn for yourself!!

but then i stop wanting that.
it's not a matter of anyone being stupid, or naive, or worldly, or complacent.
it's just whether or not you're okay with where you're at. and i'm not.
the same crisis i have every fucking year.
you think they'd have learned that if i'm so unhealthy about it that it needs to change.
but it's my fault.

i love learning.
i hate dealing with the lack of reality that currently comes with it.
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so in addition [Monday
August 27th, 2007]

to a broken jaw i have the flu.
or strep.
either way: god hates me? survey says: YES.

i'd better be healthy, or at least functional, by the punk rock picnic this saturday.

my health clearly doesn't know it's skrinkle from it's skrottle.

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